Days without You

im going crazy.
and i mean it.
you know, when i just looked at the schedule for dance co, i immediately regretted my decision.
the decision to join graduation dance.
im like half dead alr.
they say graduation is above everything, oh so what.
does that mean the school will give me a four points for my gpa ?
does that mean they'll fill me in for the lessons im going to miss ?

my god.
i so regretted it.

i hope i dont collapse.
or breakdown.

furthermore, the crew is having extra practices as well.
discussions bout each other too.
like how we feel and all.
so used to this kinda situation.
but im afraid of some things.
things i fear will happen.
like what happened in the past.
i actually dread it.
for the first time i feel like its all coming back to me.
maybe i should just shut up.

im worse than all of them i think.
with my self confidence as an act and my mouth working faster than my brain.
am i right or wrong ?
im beginning to be what i hate about myself the most.
why ?
i dont understand.
everything im doing seems to be going in the wrong direction.
whats the purpose of me doing this and that i do not know.
i can no longer control the person i am now.
i do not even know why i act this way.
everything is so unreal to me.


hope i can manage my time.

we're having a maths test tmr.
i really hope i dont fail.
i havent studied.
dont understand anything.
sighs.




im really frustrated right now.
god.
i wish i am strong.
i really wish i am.
im just too weak as a human being.